Initiating has long been a victim of societal norms. Women generally are used to and assume men will and should initiate sex. Fuck that! Everyone wants to feel desired and pursued.
I say this yet I am one who struggles to make the first move, but it’s a challenge I accepted with confidence.
Confidence, thats all it comes down to. Making the first move is intimidating to most people, women in particular. That fear of being shot down, or the uncertainty of whether or not the other person feels this heat like you do can be pretty daunting.
But there is also a thrill with taking the lead and telling someone that you want them and how you want them.
Initiating plays a role in all sexual encounters but can be different for those who are single and those who are coupled.
If you’re in a relationship
REMEMBER you are already together! You are ahead of the game. You know this other person loves you and wants you.
Partners don’t realize that it is equally as intimidating for their significant other to always make the moves.
My male friends never hesitate to tell me that men would be turned on by the very. thought of their wife/girlfriends pursuing them.
“Initiating sex can be exciting, because of the fear of the unknown,” says O’Reilly. “This excitement helps to reignite the chemical spark you felt in the early days with your partner.”
According to Jessica O’Reilly, Ph.D.,sex and relationships expert.
If you’re single
Initiating takes a more tactical approach because you don’t know the person that well but you think you feel some sort of energy. Do you? Don’t you? Do you try to drop subtle hints or just go for it!?
Luckily I scouted the entire earth for the best tips for initiating whether you’re single or in a relationship.
You know that kiss that let’s them know what’s up. A passionate kiss, that’s warm yet demanding. A kiss/bite on the neck is very nice hint that you want some also!
Strategic placement of your hands on certain body parts will send the signals you want. And no not their treasure parts! I’m talking about thigh, lower back, hands, shoulders, face. But please be aware of how you’re gestures are being received. Unwanted free feels are NEVER ok and can summon. major problems.
A massage is always a good way to start sensual and get sexy. Take control of the evening and say you’d like to give them a massage. Make sure they are aware of your true intentions by wearing something sexy and massaging the hot spots. Finish the massage off with kisses… that end in a happy place.
Sext (see previous post)
Send a flirty, dirty, spicy text. Pictures are always a nice stimuli but you can also use your words; explain what you want and how you can’t wait to do it later, keep it short and sweet. And be sure to deliver on what your say in those messages!
Shower for two
Take it to the easiest place to get them naked… the shower! Ask them to shower with you, everyone’s gotta get clean, plus it’s environmentally conscious! But back to being naked… your body, their body, water and suds dripping… I mean c’mon, I’m getting turned on just typing this!
Pretend that you are sleepy and ready for bed. When they climbs in ask if he/she is tired. If they says no, ask if you could borrow him for a few minutes. Get handsy and let them know what you want.
Remember it literally take 2 (or more) to get things poppin…so do your part, do your part.