Personally I love a nice firm neck grab while my partner penetrates me. And I’m down to lightly choke my partner if he’s into it.
Now there is that very very fine line of pleasure and pain that you want to be sure to tip toe on and stay on the pleasure side. I’ve experienced the other side of that line where pain and a near blackout left me tapping out for dear life! He wasn’t aware of his own strength and I said it was cool and we continued with no extra choking of course. However the next day read a different story…I was sore and slightly bruised! I was horrified yet at the same time a bit turned on lol. Maybe it was the thought of his strength or the idea that sex with me was so amazing (thanks Ri) that it moved him to grip me that hard. Obviously that’s what I chose to roll with so I wore my bruise like a little medal, and laughed to myself whenever I felt the soreness.
There are plenty of psychological reasons why choking is a turn on.
“Having a man’s hands around your neck plays into the fantasy of being taken, also known as ravishment,” says sex therapist and researcher Christine Milrod, Ph.D.
That experience was cool and all but there are some people that want that pain and more pleasure, crossing all the way over that fine line.
“Breathe play” as its called in the kink community is taking things to the next level where you literally choke your partner to the point of depriving them of oxygen and then releasing their neck just as they are about to climax.
Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First.
“The rush of breath that comes after being choked releases endorphins, which combine with the neurochemical cocktail of sex to create a feeling of heightened exhilaration,” says Kerner. -
As the saying goes — it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt… Or dies!
There has been hundreds of deaths related to this fetish… Where people take it just a tad too far using belts, rope or just choking someone too hard or too long. If you’re trying this out for the first time do some damn research and if you’re a current choker or chokey just know your limits, it’s meant for pleasure not murder!